And Then...

Episode Seven: Who Am I?

December 15, 2022 Suzie Chafin Season 1 Episode 7
And Then...
Episode Seven: Who Am I?
Show Notes Transcript

Have you ever been in a place where you asked yourself or said to yourself – Who Am I? Or I don’t even know who I am? Especially in seasons of change, when your children go to college, when you’ve experienced great loss like a death, divorce, or death of a friendship. Or how about if you’ve changed career paths by choice or by force? So many labels tend to make up our identity that we begin to believe what we do, what roles we play are who we are. Those are just descriptors, evidence of who we  are, but they are not the essence of who we are. 

Additional Resources:
https://www.amazon.com/Winning-War-Your-Mind-Thinking/dp/B08FRND9CR/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2SQIU5IOQ6YMT&keywords=winning+the+war+in+your+mind+groeschel&qid=1671125022&sprefix=winning+the+war%2Caps%2C137&sr=8-1

Affirmations of who you in in Christ: https://finds.life.church/pastor-craig-groeschels-list-of-positive-affirmations-to-renew-your-mind/#:~:text=It's%20who%20I%20am.,every%20day%20of%20my%20life.

https://www.amazon.com/Good-Boundaries-Goodbyes-Loving-Without/dp/B09XJ7LBMW/ref=sr_1_1?crid=23MOSP4B96RQW&keywords=good+boundaries+and+goodbyes+lysa+terkeurst&qid=1671125155&s=audible&sprefix=goodbyes+%2Caudible%2C122&sr=1-1


Unknown:

Welcome to and then it's a podcast, we look at what comes after the struggle, a tough season or a setback. My name is Susie Chafin. And I am absolutely passionate about helping people transform from struggle and surviving, to absolutely thriving. Today's topic is called Who Am I? We're going to be diving into the topic of identity. Have you ever been in a place where you ask yourself or set yourself? Who am I, or I don't even know who I am anymore. Especially in seasons of change, like when your children go off to college, and all of a sudden your house is empty. Or when you've experienced great loss, like death or divorce or a death of a friendship? Or how about if you've changed career paths by choice or even by force. So many labels tend to make up our identity, that we begin to believe that what we do, what roles we play, are who we are. But those are just descriptors. They're evidence of who we are, but they're not the essence of who we are. I want to share a story when my kids were growing up, we had four, four kids. So we had a really, really busy household between ballet soccer swim team, our weekends were packed and youth who might be in a season like that right now. I remember one particular Saturday, we were headed to a long day of soccer games, and we forgot the water bottles. So we pulled into a CVS so I could run in and grab some water bottles. And I don't know about you. But when I'm on a mission, when I'm on task to get groceries or water bottles, in this case, I go in, I go out, I don't, I'm not really focused on saying hi to anybody or catching up, my mission is to get the water and get going. So I grabbed my waters at pay, and I'm jumping back into our black Suburban. And as I'm putting the bag on the floor, on the floorboard, I noticed that the floorboard is 10. Michael, that's, that's weird. My floorboard is black. And I look around, and my seats. Those are tan leather too. And just just the realization sets in, I turned my head and I see a man who is not my husband, who smiles and says to me, well, well, hello there. And obviously instantly, I am horrified. And I can look right past him, see into the other black suburban, parked right next to this one. And inside that black suburban is my husband and my four children. All laughing and really, really having a fun time. delighting in my mistake. So obviously, I quickly apologize to the man totally embarrassed, and I get back into the right Suburban. And I got into the suburban and I remember, like looking at my family and my husband and my kids going white. Why did you not stop me? Why did you stop me? And they're like, oh, there was no stopping you, Mom, you were on a mission. And mistaken identity, I was sure that suburban was mine. We can do that life. Right? Sometimes we mistake identity. We think who we are, is in our title, and our role, our relationship. Today we're going to look at how to really know who you are. We're also going to take a look at see who God says we are. And my hope is today, you're going to find your identity in the beautiful unique creation that you are and not in the roles you play. Before you held any of the roles you hold currently are held before, before you were in a relationship that wounded you were before you were, you know experienced any kind of trauma for the first time before you learned that life can sometimes hurt. What kind of person would you describe yourself. And I don't want you to maybe describe the person that you are under stress. When you're frustrated and angry and you lash out and you say things that you don't mean to but your true self you know that the person that essence of you the characteristics that you want to be known by. And I'd encourage you to take a moment to pause and if you can take a pen and paper and write down the attributes and let me help you with some ideas in case you're wondering what those might be. Maybe you feel like you are A person of integrity that you want to do the right thing that you want to be a person who can be trusted and known. Maybe it's that you want to be loving, maybe you just love to serve other people and love to just love on other people. Maybe it's being friendly or compassionate. Or maybe you're somebody who really is driven by being hardworking and having a strong work ethic. Maybe it's been a significant, maybe having people see you for who you are. And what you do that you make a contribution and that your contribution is, is fantastic. And the world. Maybe you're generous, maybe you're honest, maybe you're loyal. Maybe you are a an adventure seeker, you love the spontaneous, thrill seeking things to do. If you're organized, fun, funny, ambitious, creative, logical. Maybe you love the beach, maybe you love to dance, maybe you appreciate music. Let's go back to the suburban story. We can attach an identity to a role we play. But we can find ourselves in the wrong Suburban. Better stated the problem of attaching our identity to our roles is that when change happens, and change, at some point always happens. We can feel like we're no longer who we are. Gonna give an illustration. One of the things my husband and I like to do together is walk especially when we're visiting our boat and San Diego, across from Marina is harbor Island drive, which is a front row seat to the gorge gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous, stunning San Diego Harbor. And there's a path there that we can walk and we can see the Navy base on Coronado Island, the Coronado Bridge in the beautiful downtown skyline. We can see the harbor, we can see boats, we can see an occasional seal or dolphin. And recently, we were walking this path and my husband stepped down and he just buckled in pain. He tore his meniscus, and all of a sudden, he can't walk. But that doesn't change the fact that he loves to walk that he loves being in nature and seeing the bustling harbor. He just has a torn meniscus, he's temporarily not able to walk that doesn't define him at his core. Or let me give us an example that might hit a little more close to home to you. In the next episode, we're going to talk to Jason heat brink. And you're going to hear about his story and how after working and navigating, and being a proven leader in his organization for 16 years, and an instant, he lost his title, he lost his role. And it didn't mean he was now no longer a leader or a visionary or disciplined he was still all of those things. He just didn't hold a title at that particular organization anymore. Or if you're a wife, and suddenly you lose your husband to death, or divorce, does that change who you are intrinsically at the core? Totally agreed. It changes a lot of things for sure. But it doesn't change the fact that you still are a loving, supportive, caring person that has a lot to offer. If you're a parent, if you love your kids, and you support your kids and are a great mom, that's can't be your identity either because that empty nest is coming. And even in the most ideal of circumstances, even though you're not feeding them and you're not wandering them and seeing them daily, it doesn't mean you aren't still the person who loves them and cares for them and what's the best that can't ever be taken from you. If you are successful in your career path, regardless of the title, it is because of your work ethic, your problem solving skills, the characteristics you embody. Your success is because of those characteristics, not because of the title you hold. The problem with attaching our identity to the title is when change comes we wrongly and mistakenly feel like we've been erased or forgotten, or insignificant. Changes in roles are often opportunities to reposition, pivot, think adapt and grow to the next level. The attributes that are uniquely you, your creativity, your loyalty, your great heart, who you are, those can't be taken from you. How you use them is the great adventure. Now I want to pivot a bit I want to share with you what the Bible has to say about who you are. And Philippians four, eight, Paul wrote, and now do your brothers and sisters. One final thing, fixed your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. God says that when we put our trust in Him, we have no identity and we have the best identity. And you might be thinking like What do you mean like putting my trust in him? Like It's kind of a crazy world. I don't know if I want to put my trust in him. But I want you to know that God loves you. God loves you. God loves you so much that He sent Jesus His Son, to not to die on a cross to take on your sin, so that you could have eternal life. And if you want to look at some scriptures to go a little bit further into that, you can look at John 316, or John 1010. But when we choose to live with our life, interest in him, it doesn't mean that suddenly our life becomes easy and worryfree. But what it does do is it changes our identity. Because we're a new creature in him. We're not defined by our past. We're not defined by bad decisions, we make bad choices. We all have those. That's exactly why we need Jesus. were defined by what God says we are forgiven, redeemed, free, loved. Craig Groeschel, he's a pastor of Life Church, he wrote a fantastic book of winning, called winning the war in your mind, I would really encourage you to download that or to go by it. There's so many great things in that book that would really help your mindset. Part of that centers on telling yourself affirmations of who God says you are. And I love that because it goes right back to in Philippians, four, eight, thinking about fixing our thoughts on what is true and honorable and right pure and lovely and admirable. The things that God says that we are not who are mistakes or things that we wish we could have do overs on it, say we are. I'm going to put a link to these affirmations so that you can read them yourselves and you can print them out and you can remind yourself who you are. Again, these come directly from Craig Groeschel, I'm quoting him. And these are some a list of positive affirmations for anyone who's in Christ. I am strong and mighty. I have the same power that raised Christ from the dead dwelling inside of me. I am a weapon of righteousness and a world of darkness. I am not my past. I am not what I did. I am who God says I am. He says I'm forgiven. He says I am redeemed. He says I am free. I am not a hostage to unhealthy thoughts. The weapons I fight with are not the weapons of this world. I have divine power to demolish strongholds. I have the mind of Christ directing my thoughts. I have the word of God guiding my steps. I demolish every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and I take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. Worry is not my master, I trust in God, His peace guards my heart guards my mind and guards my soul in Christ Jesus. My God has not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power of love of a sound mind. And the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. I am not a slave to my habits. I am not a prisoner to an addiction. I have been rescued from the power of darkness and brought into the kingdom of God's light. I am empowered. I am chosen, I am called. I am a masterpiece of God created in Christ Jesus, to do good works which God prepared in advance for me to do. My God will bless me abundantly so that in all things at all times, having all I need, I will abound in every good work. My God is for me, my God is with with me. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Nothing can separate me from God's love, not death, not demons, not the present, nor the past. More power on earth will ever separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, my Lord. I am not what I have or what I buy. My identity is in Christ alone. And by God's power, I can change. My life belongs to God. Daily, I seek him and daily he directs my steps. I know his voice, and he leads me to His perfect will. My confidence is in Christ and Christ alone. Because his Spirit lives within me. I can do everything he calls me to do. Aren't those fantastic affirmations. Again, that comes directly from Craig Groeschel. And I would encourage you to print it off to read it to remind yourself over and over and over who God says you are. Who you are is not something that can be taken from you. It is your essence nurture you Be the best version of you. You can do everything he calls you to do. Before we wrap up, can you do me a favor if you could rate and review the podcast that would be super helpful. And if you found today's content helpful or would like to share it inside I would love to hear from you. Be sure to subscribe, like and follow and stay up to date with the latest episodes. We'll see you next time.