And Then...
And Then...
Episode Three: Unstuck
Feeling stuck? Does life feel like its never going to change. Your circumstances will always remain the same? In this episode, we dive into how to MOVE out of that ditch and become UNSTUCK.
Welcome to and in. It's a podcast where we look at what comes after the struggle a tough season or setback. My name is Susie cheapen. And I'm absolutely passionate about helping people transform from struggle and surviving to absolutely thriving. Today, we're gonna dive into the topic of being stuck, like, Do you know what I mean? That feeling like, Oh, my life is always going to be this way, my relationship will never change, my business will never grow. My clothes will always be too tight. And I'm always always going to be struggling financially. Or maybe it's not any of those things. But maybe it's the routine of day to day life. And it's just come rather boring and monotonous and lacks any kind of variety or anything to look forward to. And you ask yourself like, wow, surely there's more to life? You know, surely I was made for more? Well, today, we're going to dive into some strategies on how to get unstuck and help you take specific steps to gain traction, make progress and change your story. Have you ever literally been physically stuck before? Recently, I went to dinner with my husband and one of my sons. I got up and went to the restroom, I quickly shut the door behind me. I locked it. And when it was time to exit the restroom, I guess I had somehow overlooked the fact that the lock was the only thing left on the door knob handle. There was no handle. There was just a little round piece. There was no lever to press down on there was no knob to turn. There was just a simple little round thing that locked the door. I had locked myself in the restroom. Okay, no big deal. Twist the little circle, twist, twist. My fingers keeps slipping in. The grip wasn't there. And it dawned on me. I was physically stuck. And rather quickly. Those four walls began to just cave in on me and panic set set in. Like, oh my goodness, I'm stuck. I'm in a bathroom prison. You know, time to brainstorm option one. While I had entered that restroom, absolutely was zero plans of crawling on a bathroom floor that night. going underneath a door if necessary, was not beneath me. Except there's a problem. This door goes floor to ceiling. There's no gap. Where's the gap? Now I know why there is a gap. Okay, option two. Maybe somebody's going to come in here and rescue me from this prison. And then I remember when we walked in, was early. We were one of the only table seated the chance that somebody was actually going to come in there. Slim to none. Okay, okay, what else? Option three? Of course, duh. Just call my son call my husband. Tell them about this very serious hostage situation. Hmm. Well, that would have worked. I would have brought my phone to the restroom. Instead, I left it on the table. Fine. Finally. option for complete desperation. And I did ice ice cream and I pounded on that door. I was pounding loud. Hello. Hello. Can anyone hear me? Anyone? Anyone and I'm counting count pound pound pound pound on the door. Well, the house music was so loud that unfortunately even my loud and very frantic pounding was drowned out. Okay, get a grip Suzie is just a bathroom. It's just a bathroom. And getting out of this bathroom. It is up to you, sister. No one's coming in here to rescue you from this terrifying prison. If you want to get unstuck, you are going to have to figure out a way to do it. So I patiently and methodically went back to the only viable option which was turning the tiny little luck until the door blissfully opened. And while I'm quite certain I had been in that prison for I don't know what like 234 hours apparently hadn't been that long. My return to the table was barely noticed. I said, Didn't you think I was gone a while. And my son and my husband just shrugged at me and continued to eat their dinner and they're like, Well, I mean, you know, who knows but you mean, we didn't know what she had to do in the bathroom? Oh, okay, really like I was gone a long time guys. The story is obviously a light illustration, to see how physically helpless and powerless it can feel to be stuck. And the reality is, most of the times our prisons aren't the four walls of a broken bathroom, but walls that we erect slowly over time barriers that we create. And the challenges seem too hard. And we feel too powerless to overcome them. Are you stuck right now? Do you feel a little helpless or powerless in a certain area of your life that just stopped possible to get motion. I recently found myself in a place where I no longer found challenge or growth, as well, now might be you too, you know, or you know, your day to day life. Maybe it doesn't match up with your authentic self and you feel disconnected from your values, you feel disconnected from what's really important. Or like we talked about earlier, maybe you just feel hopeless, nothing's ever going to change your job, your spouse, the relationship, the weight, things will always be this way. Why is important to become unstuck? I mean, there is an alternative, right? We could choose to stay stuck. We could choose to stay like a victim, choose to feel powerless. Choose to feel like we had no control over the rest of our life. Man, I don't know about you. But that sounds terrible. There's no joy that if we choose to stay stuck, what else are we leaving on the table to write? Like, what kind of life what kind of path could we have lived? What's going to be on the other side of that? I don't know about you. But I don't want to have a life. It's full of color color. I want to know what's possible. I want to see what else can I do and be okay failing in the process. That's okay. We were created to have purpose and complete meaningful works. In Scripture, specifically Ephesians 210. It says, For we are God's handiwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. And to repeat that, For we are God's handiwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. I take that and personalize it, you, you You are God's handiwork is beautiful creation is one unique you. And he made you for a life of purpose, and impact and good works. He knows you, He created you. And he has already prepared those works in advance for you to do is that amazing? What I find so beautiful about that passage is that it's your own personal unique journey, your own unique race to run. You don't need to compare your life with anybody else's. Those are their works. You have your own works, that God's prepared just for you. I am with you in this journey. Like I mentioned this podcast, it's a result of feeling stuck, unchallenged and not growing. And I have to say it is completely terrifying to put yourself out there. And to do something new like this. It's it's also really exciting. It's also life giving. And it's so much better than staying in a rut and choosing the comfort of what I know and not moving, not making a change. Choosing to be unstuck. It definitely means being a little uncomfortable. So now that we're ready to become unstuck, let's dive into the actual strategies that will help you dislodge from your REBT. The first strategy, take inventory without judgment. In other words, I'm going to ask you to audit the aspects of your life that you feel stuck in and simply record the results without any story without any narrative. For example, it's a good thing to know what you weigh, right? All you have to do is get on the scale and record the result. There should be no narrative around that right. Having a healthy weight keeps you from a plethora of his health issues. And plus, it's just more fun when you look in the mirror. The scale is programmed to do one thing, just spit out a very non judgmental number is an accurate representation of what has been placed on it. It's a measurement. It's nothing more it's nothing less. Well, in theory at least, you know, I take the Scale next level, and create an entire narrative and story around the number it spits out. My number says this number, it's about your worth. Do you ever do that? I look at the number in a whole series of things begins to happen. My self talk goes nuts. So how could you let yourself get to this gross, just completely filled with self loathing. Rather than using the scale as a tool to measure me to take action, I'm like, let's just push you to the very back of the closet underneath all these hanging clothes, where I can't see you. Because I'd rather not see it, then get in it and have to deal with the narrative. It's only until I remove that narrative around the number. So it's just a number. It's a measurement of the now it's not permanent. It's not about my worth. It's just a number. And that's the first way I can become unstuck. So it's so important to take a measurement and audit a temperature reading of all of the areas of your life that you currently feel stuck in finances. The good and the bad. What is the saving, say? What does retirement say? Debt? Like, how bad is it? Or maybe it's not even as bad as you think it is? Relationship? Is it? Good? Is it growing? Is it challenging? Or is it toxic? Is it depleting? We can't change what we don't know. So it's important to take inventory to know exactly where you stand in all the areas of your life you might feel stuck in. Once we've taken an audit, we can start to make some progress. And the first way we can do that is by changing the language. Now that you have the facts of the situation, now you have the raw data, the score the numbers, we can change the language around the situation. Very often the language might look like, oh, I need I should, I'm going to I'm going to try. Do you do that? I need to lose weight, or I need to work on this aspect of the business. I should exercise, you know, I'm going to try I'm going to try to eat better. I need to save money. It's so disempowering. Those words feel like an order, something that I've been mandated or forced to do, almost, I don't know about you. But when I feel like I need to do something, I find myself often doing the exact opposite. It's like this weird rebellion, the same fear relate to that. But the language we use, it's so powerful. And once we remove that obligation, the bondage of what we need to do and focus on what we want to do. Wow, that's transformative. The words, I'm going to try, I really should do that I need to do that. They aren't attached to action, they just really result in giving you some kind of false deferred sense of accomplishment. When you think i need i should i will or I should I'll try. I mean, the thing is, you're tricking yourself into believing at some point that you're going to do something about that issue that you're frustrated with. So let's work it backwards. What do you want? Now what do you need to do? What do you want to do? Rather than say, I need to cut back I need to exercise more, I need to do 100 burpees a day, which we both know, it's never gonna happen. I can change the language. I want to get healthy. I want to like myself and pictures, whatever it is, I want the power of i want is no one is obligating me, this is my choice. empowering words like I can, I can do this. I want to do this. I choose to do this. Do you hear how empowering that is? Versus I need to? I'll try I should. Those words have no action. It's just a form of bondage. So let's take that language and go next level and let's put action to the language. We know what we want to do. And now we need to apply the implementation and I like to call the three W's so the third and last strategy is apply the three W's the what the when and the where. Start with the biggest area in your life you feel stuck in Is it your career. Is it your relationship is it health? What is the number one area you feel You're stuck in. And it's great to know what two and three and four and five are. But let's face it, if you take on everything at once, you're gonna get so overwhelmed, there's a good chance you're just going to give up and be happy with being stuck. So now that you know what the most important thing is that you want to do, let's apply some action. What exactly will you do, and it's so important to be as specific as you can down to maybe it's the meals that you eat, or that exercise that you're going to do, just being as specific as possible because we even when we say I want to exercise, if we don't clarify that, then it's a fuzzy goal, and physicals don't get don't happen. So we need to say something like, I want to, I want to take a four mile walk this morning. Tonight, I want to do a swim, you know, being very, very specific. And what are the things that you want to accomplish? So and then the next part would be when are you going to work on it? In the morning? In the afternoon at night? Put it in your calendar, write it out? When will you do that? Very specific. What? In last? Where are you going to do it? Are you new to home? Are you going to the gym? Are you going to take the dog for a walk? Where are you going to do it? The more clarity you have around your goals, the more you know what, when and where the more you are able and empowered to take action. You're making a game plan because you want to not because you need to. And these three strategies, they are going to help you make such progress. And there is such power and progress. Benjamin Franklin said without continual growth and progress such words as improvement, achievement and success have no meaning. Are you ready to have progress? Are you ready to go to the next level and get out of being stuck? Let's just do a quick recap, a quick review. First, you're going to audit have a realistic assessment of where you are removing any judgment, any condemnation, just seeing a number on a scale a number in the new retirement account, whatever it is, it's just a number, a number that you can change, but at least you know what it is. The second thing is we're going to pick that one area that we feel the most stuck in and we're going to change our language, we're going to delete the I need I should, I'm going to replace it with I want to choose. And last, knowing now what you want more than anything. You're beginning to become laser focused on the what and the when and the where so you can begin to make progress. Remember, remember, you are God's beautiful handiwork created by him to do amazing works. And he's all ready prepared them for you in advance. All you have to do is step into that reality. Isn't that awesome? And then you'll find yourself day by day feeling a little more hopeful, a little more excited about the work in front of you a little more excited about the future in front of you. And best of all, you'll be her alpha, authentic, best self able to live out the next best chapter in your life. Doing things exactly how you want to. I just can't wait to see where you're gonna go. If you'd like to take a deeper dive on this topic, read additional resources on how to make progress and become unstuck. I've listed a few books on my social media pages that I personally have found excellent. Finally, if you found today's content helpful, or would like to share an insight, I would really appreciate it if you would drop a comment. Be sure to subscribe, like and follow to stay up to date with the latest episodes. We'll see you next time.