Episode Ten: Don't Stop

I don't know what you've been praying for. Maybe it is finances, a relationship, a situation and NOTHING seems to change. In this episode I share a time in my life where despite my ceaseless praying I didn't see change. Then God showed up. He hears you. He loves you. Don't stop praying. He is at work!

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Hi, welcome to and then it's a podcast where we look at what comes after a hardship, hard time the struggle of season of trial. And we look at how that actually transforms us and changes us and moves us into a better place and a better person. Today, I'm going to tell you a story. I came across a Facebook memory. Actually today, and I was just compelled to share this story with you guys. This one stopped me in my tracks. It's a memory, I'm not sure that it's ever popped up before. And it was a picture that I could probably title, miracles, or answered prayer, or goodness of God or faithfulness of God. And I can't wait to share this story with you, you might be in a place where you're wondering, Is God even hearing my prayers, I have been praying about this particular thing for so, so long, and I'm not seeing any movement is even hearing my prayers. Or you might be in a place where maybe you have a child, a teenager and adult child who's, you know, not living out his or her best, and you know that you're praying for them to return home, or you're praying them to return back to the Father. If that's you, the story is for you. If you are stressed out about your finances, the economy inflation is crazy right now, and you're worried how in the world can my stretch my dollars to cover the month, there's more month than dollars, then this story is for you. And if you need just a reminder of just how incredibly much God loves you, this story is for you. If you happen to look at my Facebook or Instagram page, you're going to see this picture that I'm referring to this snapshot of this amazing culmination of miracles moment in time. I'll describe the picture to you it is a picture of the four of my kids. It's 2014, march 11 2014. That was one day after my oldest turned 19 years old and was a freshman in college. My daughter was 17, a junior in high school. And my twins were 14 and in eighth grade at middle school. And they're standing the four of them all huddled together smiling on the edge of a cliff. And behind them is this vast Pacific Ocean was just incredibly beautiful. And what's in front of them. What you don't see in the picture is this beautiful campus called Point Loma Nazarene University in San Diego, California. But before I go further, I need to back up I need to set up this amazing moment before I can tell you what that moment represented. Like a lot of families, my children have suffered from birth order syndrome. You know, I know I grew up always being the baby and the rights and privileges that came with that. And my sister was the oldest child that always comes with the rights and privileges that came with that. But in our family, you know, it, it definitely happened to be true that I was guilty of having that crazy, terrible disease that makes first time parents obsessive and over protective. And the exact same parents same to people who you know, at the end with multiple children find themselves just going with their with their last ones or the babies. And that was certainly true. In our case, my oldest, being the firstborn had 21 months of being the only child paired with the craziness of a first time mom paired with the energy of a 23 year old and that child was read to so many books that was his favorite thing to do is just sit my lap and listen to books and we would read and read and read and we built block towers and puzzles and he was just got a lot of really great attention. And I was just pouring into him and I even had these flashcards like even before the time he was two he could I would ask him to point out you know any letter of the alphabet and he could point to it he knew what the letters in the alphabet word. And needless to say, you know he's doing this I'm I'm like, he's this child's prodigy. He's a genius. He's so smart. You know, like every new mother is with all of their children. And he had the crazy over protective side of me that, you know, he was the first with everything that I did with every, you know, he got, he got the brunt of my mothering mistakes. I was so overly protective of him that I even, like, forbid him to play with Pokeyman. I know like, why poke him on what in the world Susie, like, I'm not sure why I thought Pokeyman was so terrible. But all the other kids in kindergarten, first grade got to play with Pokeyman, but not my son, poor child. And I have apologize, just so you know, for being such a weirdo mother in those early years. But he definitely had that first child, the parents the higher expectations, these standards on him a lot of pressure that I put on him. And partly because I knew he hid he did have a gift, he had a gift with numbers and science and spatial reasoning and things like that everything in life that has always confounded me came extremely easy for him. And he didn't have to study much. And let's say, you know, around his junior year of high school, he decided, you know, like any normal kid, like, he's gonna enjoy high school, it's totally normal. But let's just say that he and I butted our heads quite a bit over, let's call them some of the you know, quote, unquote, choices that he was making. In March of my oldest senior year, the week before spring break, I started a new business, I saw the writing on the wall, I saw that my kids, you know, over the next five years, we're going to be moving out. And I found an opportunity to run, run a neighborhood magazine. And with all of my kids, you know, looking like on the way out that I was like, Yeah, this is great, this is perfect. I can say it's gonna give me something to do. But I can still you know, be that mom, I can still go to PTA meetings and be on the board or do whatever and, and still take the kids to soccer practice and orthodontist or whatever I do all of those things. It was it was a great setup. So a few months after I started that opportunity, the week before spring break, I went to training, then we went to spring break and then started my business from there. And I and that later, a couple months later, my son graduated from high school, and went on to university on a complete academic scholarship. And we were very proud of him, obviously. And then he did what you know, most kids do when they go to college, he pledged a fraternity. Apparently, it was a really, really crazy fraternity. And I'm sure people were like, how did you not know that was like a crazy fraternity. And I mean, I guess maybe we should have known but my husband and I, we got married in college, we went to a school where there was no Greek system, you know, our nights out, we're basically studying and then if we could afford it, we were lucky to get a party burrito at Taco bueno. Like all we were doing was studying and working so we could live, you know, our meager existence in our apartment. So I had no idea. I had no idea what the Greek life was like or what to expect. But apparently this fraternity he joined was, was pretty wild. So he started off his freshman year, and I would go visit him about once or twice a month, maybe sometimes more. And I would just drive up for the day, spend the afternoon with them, have lunch with them, take him shopping, get him whatever he needed, that kind of thing. And every single time I left, I had this complete uneasiness about where he was physically, spiritually, emotionally. And I knew this fraternity was compromising him. I knew it was a it was really, really bad thing for him for his future. It was it was full of temptations. And I know I'm sure all fraternities and sororities have temptations, but some of the kids in this fraternity had so much wealth that it really compounded the amount of things that he was exposed to, and had access to, I guess. And so about every single night of that year, I woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep. I just would be praying and praying and praying sometimes for hours just asking God to guard him to watch over him to protect him to intercede for him to preserve him because I knew I knew how I How much he could accomplish. And I knew that this was not the right place for him. And I had absolutely no peace. None, not at all. Simultaneously. This is the first year of my business and my business is actually taking off. It was the success and I was having a lot of fun doing it. And I was experiencing some financial success that just came as a result of the success of the publication that frankly, I never got, I never expected to have really came into it. It's kind of like a fun part time hobby kind of thing and it really exploded from there. One year later to that week, we were preparing to take our other three kids on his southern California college tour. My daughter has always wanted to go to Pepperdine. And so we were going to make a big trip out of it, you know, see some state schools in addition to Pepperdine and Point Loma Nazarene University. Westmont, we had a nice whole trip planned out, it was gonna be great. Literally, just before we left my oldest calls, and asks if he can come. He was supposed to be going to the beach with a bunch of guys from his fraternity. But the rental understandably backed out at the last minute, wasn't going to rent to this, this group of college guys. It's a smart move on their part, and he had nowhere to go. So we booked another ticket for him. And he came along with us quite unexpectedly. On our college tour trip. We started our trip in San Diego. And we stayed in the Sheridan, if you ever been to San Diego that's like right across the street from the airport. And the day after my oldest turn 19 March 11 2014. We had a tour at Point Loma Nazarene University, I want to paint a picture of what that he was like. So imagine the oldest 19 He's posted with the beach with all his college buddies. This was now he's being forced to be going on this college tour that he doesn't even want to go on. He's not in a good mood. He's very sour. Our daughter who we're doing this tour for, she's in the hotel room. And she was in this like space, like every teenager goes through the you know, they like to express their, their selves through certain accessories. And she had these combat boots. And like, you know, if she had maybe been the last I probably would have been like, whatever were the stupid combat boots. But I was like, you know, come on, honey, it's a college interview, can you please just change your shoes. And she was not happy with me. She put on different shoes. She's hurt her fee, so that we're just hearing all about that. And then I thought she was having an interview. It wasn't an interview, but I thought she was going to have an interview and so I shouldn't have any makeup on and she's very, very pretty didn't need makeup, but I just was like Well, maybe you just want to put on a little mascara. And that definitely was not the right thing to say to that she's like, what you don't think I'm pretty? And I'm like No honey, of course. I think you're beautiful. But you know it's an it's an interview so you don't maybe just touch so that dramas going on with her. And then you have the 214 year olds who were like, you know, 14 They could care less about a college they don't want to go on the tour. They're like I want to go to the pool. I want to go see the beach. I want to do all these other things. So you know why do we have to go Can't we stay back? So we have all of that happiness just packed into the car as we dry on to the Point Loma campus. If you've seen the movie Maverick you know that last movie The second Top Gun movie with Tom Cruise in it, you will know exactly where the school is. Visually take yourself back to the scene where Iseman was buried, that beautiful cemetery with all of those white headstones that's actually a naval cemetery in Point Loma. It's next to Cabrillo National Monument. It's an incredible it's one of the most breathtaking cemeteries I've ever seen. It's a beautiful view. Cabrillo National Monuments incredibly gorgeous as well. And Point Loma Nazarene University is right next door. The school has that same exact incredible, amazing, breathtaking views. So if you're curious, like what you're trying to visualize what it will look like that's that's what it looked like take yourself back there. So we get to the car with all those happy happy children. You know, we get out of the car, of course my 14 year olds mediately start engaging in a shoving match. You know, I'm like stops, stops tight stomach and we get inside. We're trying to look like we're happy family. And they start with this video. And I'm sitting in a row behind my oldest two and I'm just Listening to the narrative of the video, I'm watching my oldest two, I'm especially watching my son. And I just knew he was listening, coming up with all these reasons of why she should not even consider the school, you know that it wasn't going to be any fun. There was no Greek system. They didn't even have a football team, for goodness sakes, like why would you want to go to the school. And the video kept talking about how getting an education wasn't just about getting a degree. But taking that education and making a difference. They had students giving testimonials on the video about how their faith had deepened and strengthened and how much closer they had grown to Christ is next, the tour started and I'm thinking surely, my oldest is going to corner my daughter, take her aside, and, you know, try to talk some sense into her. But he doesn't. And we continue on the tour. And like I said, it's a stunning, stunning campus. Every view is gorgeous, you cannot stand on that campus and not marble, it God's creation, the sheer vastness of the ocean, the dramatic cliffs and the drops, drop offs to the beach. It's just the most breathtaking beauty. And we're in this beautiful place taking in this tour. And the tour is about to come to a conclusion and my husband and my daughter, my twins are in front of us since my son is hanging back with me. We're just walking and just taking it all in and he stops. And he says to me with 100% seriousness, Mom, do you think I can transfer here? And of course, to which I answer without even, you know, you probably should have consulted my husband didn't I've just like, yes, of course. Of course you can. And he and I marched straight into the admissions building. But I want to I want to pause here and point out some of these amazing miracles that happened in this story. I want to start with provision. One year to the week, I started a business. I was doing so well financially for that business. That without hesitating, I could say yes. Now remember, he had a full scholarship. You transferring to a new school, you're not gonna get a full scholarship, you might get something but you're not going to get a full scholarship. And God provided those resources in a new way, provided a way for him to go and prepared that path. Before he started college. He started that process even before he ever was in college. second miracle timing. Our son wasn't even supposed to be with us. That God worked to intervene to make sure that our son was with us on that trip was not an accident. The third miracle, and something that just really humbled me to my core is seeing God show up in such an amazing way with his love to see how much he loves our children even more than we do. He cares so much. And my goodness, I really love my kids. And I'm sure if you're a mom, you really love your kids. I mean, I remember one time my oldest was bitten in Mother's Day out this kid like took a look didn't actually take a hug but it felt like it looked like these giant teeth marks in his leg. I was like ready, go hunt that kid down. And you know, have some serious words with that child. I mean, Mama's love is fierce. And then God shows up. And he's like, my love is even more. I love him even more than you do. And the last miracle was answered prayer. You'll remember and it talked about the whole ever since he started school, that whole academic school year. Every night I had been praying for him. Every night I woke up, I was completely not at peace. I had no peace. I knew that there was spiritual warfare going on over there. And God showed up. And he answered he heard my prayers, even when I felt like they weren't being answered when I didn't see any movement. You know, I know a lot of times we pray and we pray. We just don't see anything on the outside happening. But he was there and he was working a miracle the whole time. So that picture of the four of them on the cliff was taken just after we finished at the admissions office. We got in the car and we continued to drive around campus and the four of them got out and explored the cliffs. We're all marveling at the incredible beauty And I, they stood there, and I took that picture. And today, that picture showing up is that picture says to me, how incredibly faithful God is. It was nine years ago, I want to tell you what has happened in this past nine years. So he didn't end up transferring. He did all the legwork, you know, I wasn't gonna make it easy for him. If he was going to do it, you needed to do it, and he did make it happen. And God was so good. And he provided the provision for not just for him to go to that school. But his sister ended up following him there. They both graduated from that university. My oldest when he got there, he completely changed like the it was like a reversion back to kind of his old self. He was in leadership. And he studied and he graduated with honors in biochemistry. And he went on to medical school, and he's now a doctor in residency almost finished with his residency. And he's, you know, serving patients and make really, really making a difference. My daughter after she graduated from high school, she went to the school as well and just had a real heart for missions and for human trafficking. And she spent a summer in Costa Rica, helping women. And that's where she actually met her husband that she's married to now. And now she's she and her husband are back in San Diego. And she is in law school and only has about a year left. And our twins, the 14 year olds at the time, they they two ended up there. They they they took the low rest traveled, which is totally fine. They took a few year break, they spent it on a mountain working at a ski resort living the dream, I guess, you know, we all work so hard, so we can go skiing, and they got to ski every day. So that was pretty awesome for them. And now they're back in school, and they're finishing up. And this last week, 10 years ago, to the time that I started my training, I started my business, I launched another business, another publication in San Diego. And I look over these last 10 years, and how can I not see God's hand over every single aspect, it was his path. It was his leading. It was his timing his direction over all of it. God was so good. Every time I think about it just makes me want to cry. Cuz he was he was so so good. So today, if you're scared, you have that child who's on a path, you know, is not the right path. If you think there's no way finances could just miraculously show up in a way that you never thought or or planned for. Just know that His ways are higher. His ways are better. He has an outcome, he has an answered prayer for you. And it comes in His timing. I know we want it on our timing, but it is His timing that he hears you. And he's so good. Right now, one of my favorite worship songs is called the goodness of grace. And I just want to read some of these lyrics over you. I wish I could sing them but he would cry. So I'm just going to read them. I love you, Lord. For Your mercy never fails me. All my days, I've been held in your hands. From the moment that I wake up until I lay my head. Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God. All my life you have been faithful. All my life, you have been so so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God. I love your voice. You have led me through the fire. In the darkest night. You were close like no other. I've known you as a father. I've known you as friend. And I have lived in the goodness of God. I hope this session blessed you in some way or encouraged you. I have some really great interviews coming up. I know I've been on a little bit of a pause as I've been ramping up that other business that I just mentioned. So I'm getting back to my podcasts new episodes are coming out. And I can't wait to share those stories with you. You guys are gonna be so encouraged. I have three amazing interviews that are coming up. So stay tuned for those and until then I'll We'll see you next time.